Do you really believe someone who was so set in their ways can change?
Did you really understand their ways?
In this episode of Self Awareness with Duke we delve in to this very belief and I talk about how I understood the ‘spots’ I was seeing and the meanings I ascribed to them. A conversation with an ex brought me to question this belief and feeling in to how I felt at the time, understand the situation for what it really was.
Revisiting these past times I came to realise just what it was that caused her to show up the way she did; and acknowledge what was going on in my subconscious mind. You see there’s always a belief, a decision, a feeling in our subconscious mind that drives us to do what we do. Whether they be good or bad our actions and reactions stem from these very factors. I thought I was doing the best thing in these situations I describe, where as in actual fact I was acting from a place of fear. My internal dialogue was saying “What’s the point?” I was scared of standing in my power and being rejected by her.
I was looking for what I needed then and wasn’t thinking about what she may have needed. Had I of acknowledged these feelings and thoughts I would have known why the situation didn’t bother me so much. I would have known what it was I was looking for in that moment and seen what she was looking for and given it to her. Coincidentally, had I of stood in my power and said what I really wanted to say to her she would of relaxed and been happy with it, as it was exactly what she needed then. Lesson learned Universe 😛 .
I give you guys a quick exercise that you can do anywhere and for anyone who is giving you agro or playing hard ball. With this exercise you will get to understand what they need and whether you’re giving it to them; and what you need for yourself.
Again I would love to hear how this works out for you and your take on this subject. Comment below with what you feel is true for you about this episode. Comment, like and ask questions about the episode on iTunes. If you’re not already, jump in the Facebook Group Self Awareness with Duke to ask and comment away.
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Seek to understand them before you seek to be understood 😉 Have an awesome day guys wherever you are!