Let’s talk about DEPRESSION.
For many of you reading this… (which will most likely be all of you), you won’t have known me in my darkest days…
I’ve met a lot of people, especially men in the last 6-12 months who have shared with me (i.e. let me in on their little secret) that they feel or have felt depressed on some level.
Many of you know these people, you have friends in the same boat… family members, kids, parents.. people you work with..people you go to University with even…
The problem with depression unlike nearly any other condition is that it can go relatively unnoticed to the outsider, but WORST of all to the person living it, it can be just as slow to show itself for what it truly is.
It creeps up on you like a bill you weren’t expecting. One minute you’re feeling good and all of life is flowing and the next minute..
You can’t quite put a finger on it, but life doesn’t feel so ok anymore 🙁
We feel sorry for ourselves and judge ourselves for feeling sorry for ourselves.
Here we are feeling the blues and our self-chat tells us that there are people living truly hard lives in other areas of the world that don’t even have time to ask themselves if they’re depressed.
**Is depression a pandemic of the privileged?**
I used to be one of those people that always had a lofty GOAL so far..waaaaay out ahead of me that I failed to notice what was truly going on around me.
It was only looking back a few years ago that I realised how I’d been maintaining a certain focus to get by, but The Universe/God/Source/My Soul whatever you want to call it had other ideas.
Before I knew what had hit me I was forced to STOP and take stock of what was really going on in my life.
PRESENT DAY.. (6 months ago to be exact) and many shifts and rebriths later and I was so surprised to see ye ole friend depression hanging out with me once more.
Unlike the first time round though, this was different.
Now unlike before where I was not paying attention to my own feelings, what was truly going on in my life and frankly spending so much time looking forward to keep myself distracted…. THIS TIME I wasn’t noticing what was truly going on with me for a different reason.
All I knew was that for some weeks, every morning I struggled to get out of bed (no matter how much sleep I had had). Days would sometimes fly by without any recollection of me doing anything and feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and unhappiness were beginning to bubble up.
I’d check in with my values…
…No, they’re all good
I’d check in with who I’m helping and if I’m being there too much for other people…
…Some adjustment required, but i’m pretty good there
Are my needs being met?…
…Hmmm not entirely
Am I speaking my truth? (especially with those closest to me)…
…No I’m not and don’t feel able to sincerely
NOW, THE SIMPLICITY OF IT ALL…
It’s funny, because if you look up depression on the God of internet aka Google, or you go to your local therapist and ask “what is depression?”, you’ll get a whole host of reasons behind it such as trauma catalysts, unhappiness in life, poor diet or chemical unbalances, ancestral/inherited patterns etc…
Now I’m not here to disagree with that, BUT I think there are some first ports of call you can access that may get you there quicker.. or at least rule them out first 😉
To my mind there are 3 reasons WHY our old friend depression comes out to play:
1. We have unacknowledged feelings/needs not being met
2. We are not in our truth/ speaking our truth
3. We are off purpose
Our Soul does an amazing job of turning our neck inwards and letting us know when we’re off course or we are not listening.
When I was 22 I was so driven and forward thinking yet, although on the outside happy and outgoing, on the inside I was pretty miserable, but gave out Mr Optimism as that was the programme I’d developed to get by in life. I was looking so far forward I failed to see the wreckage of unmet needs and feelings I was leaving behind. I was off purpose and fulfilling an egoistic purpose as a desperate attempt to receive the love and acknowledgement I craved from a young age.
At 25, when I lost my business and a ton of money, I fell into a deep lull and ultimately became addicted to sex. Call it addition, call it what you will, but ultimately nothing could make me feel fulfilled and happy. I was depressed and at the time only knew to work harder to try and get out of it.
6 month ago, I was helping people (still am) and pretty much living a perfect life (from the outside), but with one fatal flaw.
I wasn’t able to be in my truth 100%.
Now that can mean different things to different people, but without me even realising I was subjecting a part of me out of my desperate want to help another.
Without me realising I started to hang out with our friend depression and my energy levels, true happiness in the moment and stillness in time plummeted.
THE PROBLEM was I wasn’t able to see it till I stepped away from the situation that was causing it.
SO WHY is depression such a pandemic and seemingly not such a prevalent aspect of the East?
Our souls are here to live the journey and fulfill the destination we were here to live.
Most of us are not on path. We are not on purpose.
The “depression” we feel is simply our souls trying to get us to look inside or at our younger selves’ ideas of how life should look, and consider what is not being met.
We are lucky that in this lifetime we have a CHOICE.. we have many choices. That is part of our journey. Some soul’s journeys are simply here to survive, to live and potentially raise up above the frequency of courage in their lifetime.
SO KNOW THAT…
When you are feeling depressed, when you are feeling unhappy with how life is showing up. When you feel like having a duvet day and watching all the Bridget Jones’s back to back (personally I’d go for The Notebook in such times!), get EXCITED! Get really excited and know that with contrast comes clarity.
The path laid out ahead of you is there for the taking. The feelings you feel right now are just to give you awareness and to get you back on course, back on path to do what you are here to do.
AND maybe there are SOULS all around you, that if you were to open up about your depression, by doing so you’d be giving them permission to go inside and realise why Our Friend Depression has been hanging out with all of us.
The reason Depression decided to hang out with me was to get me to realise, for a brief moment in time at least, I wasn’t living my truth. I wasn’t quite on path to resonate fully and give permission to those that are assigned to me. To live and speak your truth, become self aware and to realise everything that’s showing up in your life is for a reason and can be changed.
Start seeing depression as the catalyst for change that it is, be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone on this journey we call life.