Fear of rejection – 5 steps to taking action anyway
Are you scared of being rejected and you don’t even know it?
How many times (truly now!) have you adjusted your behaviour to accommodate another.
YES your EGO right now is justifying to you and telling you all the reasons WHY it was in your best interest…
I GET IT!
YOU SEE you’re biologically wired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen in a critical way. We’re anxious about the prospect of being cut off, demeaned, or isolated. We fear being alone. We dread change. AND it keeps us safe, it keeps you alive!
On a cognitive level, you might be afraid that rejection confirms your worst fear. You’re unlovable, or that you’re destined to be alone, or that you have little worth or value….
With our family, relationships.. often at school, you’ve experienced rejection and you know how it feels. You know how it hurts AND without even realising you’ve adjusted yourself to accommodate “life”, you’ve adjusted yourself to show up.. even just a little bit less as YOU, just in case!
AND THAT’s OK!
You isolate yourself more than you would otherwise, or you feel isolated, whether that’s truly the case or not.
WORSE is you’ll sometimes find yourself pushing others away, rejecting others for fear of them rejecting you first. Of course you do this all subconsciously, but nevertheless it happens! The same judgement and conformities you’ve felt to try and adhere to, you put on others!
AND THAT’s OK…
FEAR of rejection means you say YES to everyone and everything in order to gain their attention, acknowledgement and approval. Everyone knows you as helpful and reliable… BUT on the inside.. something burns within.
Is it resent? Is it lack of expressing your truth?
You feel anger and resent building up… and every now and then you might express it, but usually you keep it in! FOR FEAR of not being accepted… FOR FEAR of not being liked and ending up on your own!
IT’S YOUR WAY OF GETTING LOVE.
At some point you learned that, that was the best way… the best chance you had at receiving love. BE THERE for everyone else.
Accept them. Don’t give them any reason to reject you and you’ll be SAFE.
Our fear of rejection controls us. We base our self worth on the validation and opinions of others attention and acceptance. We become slaves to how we think others see us.
Negative self talk.
Doing work you don’t want to
Hypersensitivity to others opinion
It can cause you to feel that you are not good enough and that YOU are a failure. In relationships, you have obsessive thoughts, you question WHY you’re feeling clingy and jealous and you beat yourself up when you drive others away.
Everyone feels fear of rejection. Especially “US” in this personal/spiritual development space!
ME and YOU. We learned that to get love we had to be there for everyone else to receive love.
It’s not those times anymore.
Those days are gone.
YOU CAN BE YOU and there will be those that love you for being you. Some people will fall away SURE.
TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I’ve had my fair share of people bitching about me, criticising me behind my back and saying things about me that could hurt.
BUT I know myself enough to know THAT,
Each time something hurt me
THERE WAS something in me that either believed it to be true
There was an earlier time in my life that I’d experienced the same judgement/hate/rejection/pain…
I KNOW IT’S SCARY
It takes a leap of faith to be YOU
and you’ll see that,
The best people, your people will come to meet YOU in there droves!
Maybe not right away, cause they’re living the same fears as YOU are.
They might not even admit to themselves knowingly that they like YOU, love YOU
BUT those soul’s are out there.
They’re waiting for YOU to JOIN them, assist them, LEAD them away from FEAR and towards LOVE
1. Acknowledge those fears as they arise in you. Have a more friendly, accepting relationship with the feelings that arise within you as you go to take action and feel that fear arising, then we can heal more readily and move on with our lives.
Practice being vulnerable in small steps by expressing your thoughts, feelings, and wishes in a clear and respectful way.
ASK: Whose rejection do I fear? When did I first experience this? Go back and talk to that younger you as an adult and explain to them why you had that experience and what the benefits are and what awareness and wisdom it’s allowing you to embody and help as a result.
2. When that fear bubbles up, embrace that fear and ask “What’s the worst that can happen?” Then shrink that image and make it more grey and less vivid.
THEN imagine a more colourful optimal outcome and visualise it becoming large and squashing away the tiny first vision
3. Let your brain know “it’s an experiment of me being in my truth, just for a week”
Your brain won’t freak out so much and you can keep reframing that this isn’t forever, therefore no risk to life!
4 Feel into. “what would courage do?” Then do that! Imagine someone courageous and step into their body and feel how they feel. THEN take action. #FeelTheFearAndDoItAnyway
5. When someone compliments you.. no matter how you feel say “received thank you”. This will in time train you to accept compliments and start to retrain your subconscious filters around what you’re allowing into your life.
This is just one aspect of FEAR of course BUT ask yourself truly..
What are you not doing as a result of your fears?
Here’s to being unashamedly YOU x
Yesterday when I went to post my post about asking for mushroom providers, I felt some fear come up. Fear that people would judge me. SO I asked “what is this fear really?”. “The fear that people won’t understand you and know that you know what you’re doing”.
When did I first feel this feeling of frustration at being misunderstood?
Like you I’m sure, most of my life. It comes with the territory of the lightworkers journey, but it’s also a form of judgement.
When I asked “when did I first feel this?” I got a memory that I hadn’t acknowledged before from my childhood AND as you can see, I went ahead and posted it!
It’s that simple. Keep listening to your inner guidance system. AKA your feelings and remain in question and your EGO has no choice but to let go of the safety mechanism it thinks are serving you!