Struggling to maintain your business and your relationships..?
I know there’s a few personal development events going on this weekend, maybe you’re single and part of your mind is looking at the opposite sex across the room in the event… hey, release the judgement we’ve all done it! 😉
BUT..
Do you actually believe you can “Get Sh*t Done” and still have an awesome intimate relationship with another?
It wasn’t that long ago that I didn’t think it was possible and many of my relationships failed as I put my “mission” before everything else or at least after the initial chemical love phase wore off I did!
The reality is no matter what shows up in our life, we have the power to change.
I know you know that, you know you know that. But when it comes to relationships and there being another party involved we can easily forget it and our business or relationship, or both can suffer!
We all know the feeling of throwing caution to the wind and feeling the person we’ve just met could be different to the last disaster…
“OMG she/he has all the same interests”
“they are into all the same things and know how it feels to be an entrepreneur”
“they’ve read all the same books I have, it’s a sign from the universe!”
The biggest issue when we get into a new relationship or if we are in a long term relationship is lack of awareness. AND awareness of self at that!
If we don’t know ourselves enough then it’s easy for a relationship to fail or for us to be clueless as to why our dear beloved isn’t responding the way we’d like them to.
Now I could write a whole post on how to gain more awareness in your life and realise WHY you’re showing up the way you are and how it affects the relationships you attract and how you relate to your current beloved, but it’s a Saturday FFS 😛
SO..
Here are 5 key aspects you need to get to know about you and your (potential) partner to give you the best shot at business and relationship bliss combined:
(1) VALUES – Get to know your values. Truly, how do you show up and where do you spend your time? Look at where you spend your time and what you surround yourself with. You might think your kids, family, health, relationships, your business are represent your values, but when you look at a 24 hour period, where do you actually spend your time. This will really highlight what you value most.
Then understand what is fuelling those actions honestly. Go within and see where your motives actually lie. This is key not only for intimate relationships, but for business joint ventures also.
E.g. if I met a potential biz partner and helping or inspiring people wasn’t somewhere near the top of their value list, then I know somewhere down the line we will have issues.
It’s the same with your personal relationships. Once you know these values you can also structure your time better with your partner.
(2) VISION – As a business owner, we all know what it is to have a vision, but how many of you actually sit down and take the time to share this with your partner?
This is one of the BIGGEST issues I’ve seen with business owners who come to me with relationship challenges or complaints about their partner.
As someone who sometimes needs to “rise and grind” and do long hours and not put the time into the relationship you’d ideally like to, your partner needs to know how it benefits them.
SO… sit down with your partner and share your visions for your own business success and showcase how what you’re doing in your business will benefit their business and vice versa. You’ll be surprised at the power this has especially if your partner isn’t so entrepreneur minded.
(3) LOVE LANGUAGES – Gary Chapman’s book: The 5 Languages is a simple read that ultimately gives you more understanding of your ways of seeking love.
E.g. you’re working away and you feel fine as your beloved is around you. Your love language might be just to have them around. Whereas words of affirmation and physical touch may be their love language. Over time your partner may not be getting what they need and frustration/break up or getting their needs met may be the outcome.
Quick snapshot of the 5 love languages:
Words Of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Physical Touch
Acts Of Service
Personally I think there’s a 6th… Presence: Having your partner around, just being in the same space as you whether you connect directly or not.
We usually have 2 primary love languages built up from our parents thinking, life experiences and our DNA if you believe in that kinda thing 😉
Get to know yours and your partners and make your exchanges more efficient to what each party needs and you’ll free up more time to get sh*t done!
(4) SCHEDULE IN YOUR PARTNER + BE 100% PRESENT – How would your business go if you just took it day by day without a plan? It would be sh*t, right? It’s the same way for a relationship. We all need a good plan sometimes.
You don’t have to let your partner know this, but even google calendar reminders to send them a message or do something random will pay dividends in the long run to keeping the fire burning.
Book in at least 1 night or day a week where you give your partner undivided attention. Call it date night, or whatever you will, but essentially have that time out from business where you are 100% present with your partner and they will feel that.
In both the short term and long term they won’t feel abandoned or rejected and won’t feel resentment towards your business. And your business will likely will see more success succeed more as you will be fresher and excited to kill it in the rest of the working hours.
(5) CHECK IN – This takes just 5 minutes a day, but your partner will feel like A) you care and 😎 they are an important part of your world.
It’s so easy as a business owner to feel like we have to deal with our own sh*t by ourself. We justify that we don’t want to worry our partner, but they pick up on it and just feel distanced from you.
So..
Each day for just 5 – 10 minutes, ask them how their day was. I know some of you may feel your mind chatter groaning, but trust me…DO THIS daily and it doesn’t become so time consuming.
Then share with them some bullet points of what you got done and how it’s contributing to the overall vision (that you’ve of course already sat down and taken time to share with them).
THEN..
Each Sunday night ask them this golden question:
“How would you rate me as a partner on a scale of 1 to 10?”
Then listen to what they say and don’t take it personally.
The beauty is they won’t feel the need to cut you down and they’ll feel acknowledged.
AND if it’s not a 10/10 just ask them what would have made it a ten and they’ll likely say things like “that day when I was a bit quiet I just needed a hug for 5 minutes”
Then it’s up to you what you do with that info! 😛
I was interviewing someone on a podcast not long ago and he talked about being in a relationship VS being in an entanglement. Love that analogy.
A healthy relationship should help elevate you and your business not bring it down. Whereas an entanglement is a messy mix of emotion and drama lacking the type of intimate connection that brings you joy and growth. But with awareness and implementation of the strategies above, at least you know you are bringing and showing up in the best possible way to give both the best chance of success.
If you feel like there’s isn’t anyone out there who will accept you and your business drive,
WELL NEWS JUST IN….
**THERE IS!**
Get to know you and what you want and the rest will follow with more ease, grace, JOY and of course LOooooooove 🙂
P.S. have you ever noticed that when your relationship and business are flying everything else just flows in your favour?
Or at least it feels that way…by adding this type of self-awareness into your daily life, you’ll find much more flow and ease and the love chemicals permeating your every action will only help to rise your vibration and elevate everything else that you do!
P.P.S. you don’t have to be like Mark and think you can’t have everything you truly want, but if you do have a thing for inflatables #NoJudgement… you can have both/everything your hearts desire once you get to truly know yourself 😉