Do you believe people can change?
Do YOU REALLY believe people can change?
I ask you this question, as in this mix of the personal development world and seminar after seminar..
It can be hard to find the one’s who see change on a regular basis.
Let me explain through an example.
NOT so long ago an ex popped up on my news feed (you know the bit that recommends you might know them)..
So I followed my intuition and sent them a message.
The message that followed, was pretty to the point and pretty much said “Why you getting in touch with me unless it’s to apologise?!”
So I said I was sorry for making her feel the way I did.
I’ll be honest though,
my sequence of events that led to our short stint together and it’s subsequent demise were hazy to say the least.
I remember being confused by her impatience, anger at others judging her and overall the feeling that I (although really enjoyed her company) couldn’t see myself opting to spend time with her “long term”.
I remember this particular instance where we were trying to get a cab and she was getting very wound up. I on the other hand was looking at things optimistically (or was it a lack of of realism), despite the hours we were waiting in the scorching heat.
I also remember that she didn’t want to perform a particular sex act (starts in b ends in b!) and It felt incomplete and that she must not really like me on some level, if she’s not into to doing that.
NOW THE funnyTHING IS..
For whatever reason she recently messaged me. It felt light and we are actually going to meet up soon for a catch up.
The reason I’m telling you all this is that we often can’t actually see the forest for the trees.
I’m fascinated to chat to her in my truth (definitely wasn’t able to do that 7 years ago when knew each other) and actually hear things from her point of view.
I already can know (by how much I’ve changed) that maybe just maybe she was frustrated by my lack of leadership, my lack of showing that I can sort the situation, rather than being so chill.
Maybe the frustration and anger the exemplified, was amplified by the fact that I wasn’t committing and ultimately she’d have liked some clarity and for us to be a “thing” rather than just something…
Maybe, just maybe…
My desperate need for unconditional love showed up as neediness and giving a blow job was the last thing she would feel like doing…
Ultimately these were all expressions of my own stuff. I was co-manifesting the situations on some level.
*****Everything guys and girls and I mean **everything** that is showing up in our life is for a reason. I’ll share exactly how in another post…HARD pill to swallow..
BUT for now.. I invite YOU
If someone is showing up in your life, OR maybe an ex partner…. boss… friend… business partner…
Look at what they need and what you may not be giving them..
THEN look at yourself and ask what you need and if maybe just like me looking for unconditional love in the wrong place and my lack of true connection with my feelings (meaning I couldn’t commit), there is an aspect of yourself that you haven’t acknowledged that is helping to co-manifest your experience.
I look forward to meeting up with her soon and finding out truly how I was showing up..
BUT one thing I know is that most workshops out there wouldn’t give me the answer..
I’ve acknowledged that there are potential parts of me that I’m unaware of..
There are parts of me that may be contributing to something I’m not liking in my external world..
AND instead of looking for the next latest technique or strategy to improve my world.. that all I needed to do was to go within and feel the fear of what I might find AND do it anyway
and still go ahead and turn over the ugliest rocks inside of myself.
AND I’ve been a prick to women, I’ve been super unaware, I’ve had the best intentions and completely f*cked up as I had no idea what the other person needed…
YOU want change in your life?
Don’t just look outside at the forest that’s growing around YOU
Take a breath and go deep into the forest and be ok with whatever you may find.
TO BE CONTINUED…